If you need us over this glorious, three-day weekend we'll be bobbing on our schooner in the Vineyard Sound with Tanner and Jeanette, eating clam dip and wondering why we'd never considered buying stainless-steel-aged Chardonnay over oak-aged Chardonnay before. Just kidding, we'll be drunk and sunburned on a roof somewhere singing "Party in the U.S.A." at the top of our lungs and shoving lit sparklers in people's faces. You know, the usual. Have a safe, happy Fourth of July and we'll see you back here on Tuesday, y'all.

USA! USA!
--Papermag