Looking to guffaw about Greenwich, chortle about Choate about and hoot 'n' holler about horse shows? Then do we have the event for you. Don your Nantucket reds and head to the UCBT for The Brooks Brothers Christmas Clambake! The Brothers (aka frequent PAPER contributor Alex Scordelis and his partner in funny Chris Schell) will be making fun of all things WASPy, from "Sperry Top-Siders, Vampire Weekend, and F. Scott Fitzgerald to the Hampton Jitney, Gordon Gekko, and your younger brother who didn't get into Princeton and ended up going to Tufts." On hand for the antics will be Kevin DeBacker, Don Fanelli & Josh Patten, Johnathan Fernandez, Will Hines, Cody Lindquist & Charlie Todd, Julie Klausner, Rory Panagotopulos, Justin Purnell, Sidecar, Mike Still, Caitlin Tegart & Morgan Jarrett. Eggnog as well as clams (!) will be served.

Saturday, Dec. 18th
The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 W. 26th St.
(212) 366-9176
Midnight. $5. Make a reservation here.