Although I don't considermyself an optimist, I have faith in change for 2010. And when I saychange, I mean the MTV stimulus package that is the burnt orange heptarchy JerseyShore. Rumors abound that the beloved bundle of pickle-suckling joySnooki and the Ocean State's hottest DJ, Pauly D, are making bank and fetching asmuch as $10,000 per club appearance. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally gratefulfor all that this cast of seven (really nine if we count the girls, @jenniwoww) hasgiven to our country in these troubled times. But as the show comes to an end on Thursday, we mustn't forget the fiery femme of episodes one through three: miss AngelinaPivarnick. That's right, ladies and gents, I am here to defend theself-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" for her pivotal role in theshow's early episodes.

Perhaps the most obvious thing that setsJolie apart from her peers is her "all natural" look, and the woman will stopat nothing to stress her physical authenticity, from her luscious jet-blacklocks to her "nice, fat ass." Even in theface of a snide remark from The Situation regarding her fuller figure, ourheroine strikes back: "Look at me," she dares her former hookup, like a verbal sucker punch to his fully-glossed mouth. Angelina isproud of who she is.

And although Ange might come off as anatural seductress, she has her priorities straight and isn't about to whore itup. The girl loves to have fun, but ultimately knows that [serial]monogamy is safer and sexier than the potential excitement of a one-nightstand. Perhaps she herself stated it best, arguing that "girls who are whoresshould be abused." Spoken like a true feminist! And a woman without a man is like a nice, juiced, hot, tanned fish without a bicycle, right Angelina?

Now you're probably thinking"She's still a stuck-up brat." Let me assure you, Angelinalooks out for her friends. The girl was the reason that the boys,albeit briefly, didn't try to lure back every girl who talked to them on theshore. "I'm a cock-block," she admits with asmile, as we watch her kick girls out one after another before they canskankit up full throttle on national TV. Think of the embarrassment she'ssaving everyonefrom! Put yourself in her Rocket Dog platform flip-flops andappreciate the deeper meaning of her interferences before ungratefullystormingout of the room. "When a girl is that much of a whore, it pisses meoff, andwhen you're gonna slam the fucking door of the house that I'm living in, you'regonna haveproblems." If we should hate on anyone, it's the disrespectfuldoor-slammers.

If you're still unconvinced, allow me to use Angelina's own words to describe her time on the Jersey Shore: She "did like, youknow, great things."