With Halloween less than a week away, all you boys and ghouls out there who haven't decided on your costume yet are probably starting to get the panic sweats. Good. FEAR IS YOUR ALLY. Pretty soon, the only thing left in costume shops will be matted George Washington wigs and flame retardant Legs Avenue lederhosen and you will not be able to find a tube of black drugstore lipstick in this town for love or money. "Oh, I'll just be Eleven, or Ken Bone, or one of those people who just shows up to the party with a "nosebleed" and calls it a day, or better yet, I'll just go as myself." No. Hell no. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT AND WE WANT TO SEE YOU SHINE.

But it's OK, it's all gonna be OK. You can come back off the ledge Halloween procrastinators, because we have your back. Below is a list of 100 absolutely flawless DIY Halloween costume ideas that are guaranteed to make you the celebrity of your subway car and the toast of every house party bathroom line. All you need is a glue gun and a dream.
  1. Satan: The College Years
  2. Six Figure Goblin
  3. The Class Hamster
  4. Gutter Punk Merman
  5. Murphy Brown
  6. Mall Demon
  7. Mysterious Lump
  8. Parents at a Water Park
  9. Quetzalcoatl
  10. Pile of Bras
  11. Troll Daddy
  12. "Magic Steve"
  13. RumpleSlutskin
  14. Rumpled Quilt Skin
  15. A Fuckin' Poser
  16. "She's a Juggalo Now"
  17. New Jack Swing
  18. Couples Costume: Face/Off
  19. The Early Internet
  20. The Elephant Lamp from The Breakfast Club that Made Brian Try to Kill Himself
  21. Citizen Korn
  22. Baseball Wife
  23. Sting
  24. Warlock on a Cruise
  25. The Ticketmaster
  26. Mom's Spaghetti
  27. Yuppie Frankenstein
  28. Human Sacrifice
  29. The Last 4 Digits Of Your Social Security Number
  30. Standard Druid
  31. Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks
  32. Lizzie SnowBorden
  33. Dildo Baggins
  34. One of Those Really Rough Looking Pigeons
  35. The Bust of Lionel Richie the Blind Girl Makes in the "Hello" Video
  36. Couples Costume: The Eyes of Steve Buscemi
  37. Acoustic Raver (Raver Bob Dylan)
  38. Ebay: The Costume
  39. Purse Dog
  40. Destiny's Feral Child
  41. Unemployed Wizard
  42. "Don't Trust Gary"
  43. Beach Clown
  44. Spam Filter
  45. A Connecticut W.A.S.P. Wasp
  46. Couples Costume: The Sobe Lizard and The Snapple Lady
  47. Bounce House
  48. "Look at that Little Pumpkin Man"
  49. A Tree In An Elementary School Play
  50. Kawaii Terminator
  51. Grunge Dracula
  52. The Goddess of Pizza
  53. Juice Fast Zombie
  54. Cockroach with a Heart Of Gold
  55. Basic Ass Witch
  56. The Pumpkin Spice Predator
  57. The Molé People
  58. Three Kids Sitting On Each Others Shoulders In A Large Trench Coat Pretending To Be One Adult
  59. Pink Eye for the Straight Guy
  60. Benjamin Button
  61. Diva Cup
  62. My So Called Face
  63. Popcorn Shrimp
  64. The Headless, Bodyless Horseman
  65. Good Bacteria
  66. Chris Tucker
  67. The Phantom of the Starbucks
  68. New England Clown Chowder
  69. Goth Yearbook Photo
  70. Kevin Spaceguy
  71. Cinnamon Ghost Crunch
  72. Nell
  73. Spice Rack
  74. Couples Costume: "I'M MAD I TELL YOU" and "I'M NOT CRAZY YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME"
  75. Amazon Prime
  76. Cuba Badding Sr.
  77. "The Call is Coming From Inside My Butt"
  78. The Blair Witch's Fun Friend
  79. Beatnik on Safari
  80. Morgan Fairchild
  81. Koyaanisqatsi
  82. Thomas the (drunk) Tank Engine
  83. Dora the (drunk) Explorer
  84. The Emancipation of Mimi
  85. "The Doctor is his Mother"
  86. Group Costume: Eight Maids A Milkin'
  87. Zumba Zombie
  88. Soup Plantation (a southern belle covered in soup)
  89. Sorority Skeleton
  90. Gwyneth Paltrow Accepting the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love
  91. Reverse Madonna
  92. Misunderstood Teenage Alien
  93. Benedict Cumberbatch (goes to hell)
  94. Carnival Goldfish
  95. Edible Arrangement
  96. Group Costume: When George W. Bush Goes to Sleep, His Paintings Come To Life
  97. The God of Yogurt
  98. Mummy Dearest
  99. The Sweater From "The Sweater Song"
  100. Chocolate Fountain